I'm still here!

It's been quite a while since I've actually posted, but I'm still here. I've just been super depressed and trying to get out of this funk I'm in! I think I thought FOR SURE that with IVF and IVIG it would work. When it didn't, I just couldn't understand why. Actually, I still don't.
After our last failed cycle in August, I met with my doctor and he basically told me that if I wanted to try again, he would, but he feels like he failed us and he doesn't know what else to do. He said again that I seriously need to consider a surrogate or adoption. (I get it. I know I need to consider those things. Actually I have considered them!) He went over our charts and said he honestly can't see why it's not working. He doesn't have many patients that don't have success after this many tries.
Anyway, he said that maybe I need to go see one of those doctors that "walk on water" in Denver or New Jersey. He gave me permission to get a 2nd opinion. I really feel like I needed that.
I left that meeting feeling so defeated and even worse than before and since then, I've just been down. Yes, it's a little better now, but I'm still not totally myself.
I've been going to see my counselor and she is trying to help me look at things in a more positive way. It is helping, but I don't know if anything can ever REALLY help.
I made an appt. for a phone consultation with Dr. Schoolcraft in Colorado. I can't afford him, I just want to hear what he has to say. I was happy that I just made the appt. That was a step.
I just started my cycle yesterday and am going to do another IUI with IVIG. My husband really wants to try more IUIs before anything else. I figure, why not? I don't think I can feel too much worse.

Oh, and I planted a potato, was given an elephant with the trunk up and removed everything but the dust from under my bed. You know, because we'll try on our own even when we're not going through treatments. :)

Off to get some mental help from my counselor.
Tomorrow is our Halloween party/parade at school. It will be crazy!

:) Andrea