Pity Party for One

Today is one of those days where I just know that I'm going to have a hard time, but I suck it up and deal with it.
I had lunch with a friend who just got married last summer and is now pregnant. As always, I'm happy for her, but very sad for me. She said that her father-in-law said, "That was quick" and she said, "Not really". They had to use an ovulation kit. ONCE... Again, I know that I shouldn't feel the way I do, but I can't help it. Try over 5 years of ovulation kits, accupuncture, drugs, doctor's appointments and more doctor's appointments, it's hard to always be super strong and put on a happy face for everyone. But I'll do it, and no one, except for anyone who reads this blog, will know that I am really hurting and it is hard for me to deal with others and their announcements.
Tonight will be difficult as well, but I think I'll be okay. I just wish I could fast forward to February, when we will be able to try something again. Not trying is so hard. I feel like I'm wasting precious time. I know my body needs to heal, but I'm so ready to try again. I think it's the hope. It's easier to be hopeful when I'm cycling.
Okay, I just need to have a good, ugly cry and be done with it. If you are reading this and thinking that I'm a real downer, I'm sorry! Today I have to be. I just want it to be my turn.