Okay, I'm going to do it

I met with my doctor today and for those who said I shouldn't have stuck with him for this long - you're wrong. He is a kind man who will try whatever we want and always tries to help. I told him that we wanted to try IVF and IVIG one time. That's about all we can do. IVF is expensive in itself and each time I get IVIG it will be over $2100. I've gained weight since we last checked, so it's probably closer to $2500. So I have to get IVIG during the conception cycle, once I get a positive pregnancy test and then possibly every 3 weeks after that. I keep thinking/praying about how we're going to pay for it, but I don't have an answer yet. I just know that it's summer and I have some time off. I need to try this now. I am anxious (by nature I think) and so I'm SUPER nervous, but it's now or never.

I'll be 34 in August. Time is ticking away. My doctor looked at me today and said, "So there's NO ONE that could be a surrogate?"
My answer was no. I don't have anyone. I wish I did, but I don't. It's me or no one.

So, he's having his nurse call me tomorrow. He said he'll do everything he can to give me a discounted rate so that I can put any extra money toward the IVIG, which I appreciate.

He also said that he has seen many more cycles with IVIG fail than succeed. He wasn't saying it to be negative, but honest. I appreciate his honesty, but I feel that we have to try it. I will regret it if I don't.

So finally, I asked how many embryos he'd be willing to transfer. He said it's up to us as long as we're aware of the risks. This summer marks our 6th year of trying. We're aware of the risks and quite frankly, I'm not too worried about it. I'm worried about a lot of things, but that is not one of them.

I'm excited, but very anxious. I'm really trying to be positive because I know that's what's best, but it's so hard. If you pray, please say a prayer for me. I could use all of the prayers I can get to help me through this.

:) Andrea

My Journey

That's the car I'm getting. I like to lease so we went looking today and the Journey was the best price. I always get GM cars, so this is a big change, but I like it! Hopefully, this infertility "journey" will be over soon and I can have a baby to put in the back of my new car! It's funny because whenever I get a new car, I get it thinking about our family. I've been driving a "family" type car for 6 years now, but when it happens, I'll be ready. I meet with my doctor in late June to see what's next. In the meantime, I've been reading a lot of your blogs and not getting overly emotional, which is good!

In other news, my husband and I celebrated our 10-year anniversary 2 days ago. :) And in other news, I only have 5 days left and then school's out for summer! Woo-hoo!

:) Andrea

Blogger keeps signing me out

It won't let me comment on posts. It just signs me out right when I try to go to my page. Weird!

Yay for 3 day Weekends!

It's funny how the kids know when there isn't much time left in the school year and they are just done. Only, they can't be because I have 16 days left and so much to do! So, it is a little crazy in first grade right now! It definitely keeps me busy and not thinking about infertility. Which is nice. I have an appointment in June to talk to my doctor about my latest failed cycle. We'll see what happens. For now, I'm okay and will enjoy this long weekend! :)

I don't really want to be invited to your shower

Having a bit of a rough day. I'm not sure what I want to feel with IUIs, but something, anything different. I will go in for the test on Wednesday, but I'm just not confident. Again, I don't really know what I would feel like if I was pregnant, but I just wish this time would be different somehow.

Back to the title of my post - There was a baby shower at work on Friday and I have 2 more next Saturday. I really hate baby showers. I've been super emotional lately and it's just really hard. I just keep thinking, what if I never have this? It's really hard for me to be happy for the mother-to-be and I feel bad about it, but that's how I feel.
I'll go because I feel obligated, but I don't wanna! :)

Andrea

Oh, yeah, I have this blog too!

I have been so busy with my teaching blog that I haven't posted on here for a while. It is so much fun to create units to sell or give away and take my mind off of infertility. Well, not totally, but at least I'm thinking about SOMETHING else.
Update: I'm in the middle of a cycle. Doing an IUI. Just started Lovenox and Ganirelix today. Does anyone else get a terrible headache from Ganirelex?
Trying to stay busy this cycle and my other blog helps.

BTW I was totally fascinated with the Royal Wedding. Kate was beautiful...Just like a fairy tale.

Feeling better today!

I'm definitely not as down today. I went to my support group on Friday, which always helps. My husband and I cried a lot together and then just decided to keep trying and even though the doctor wants us to move in different directions, we're not ready for that yet. My meds for my next cycle will be here on Tuesday and we'll do this again!

In other news, I went to a friend's house last night for dinner. It was nice because we hadn't been over there in a while. We ate and talked and then I gave her the birthday present I should've given her in January and she gave me a Glee cd (I'm a big Glee fan) and a card for Shawn and I. I opened it and it was for our anniversary. (It is in June and will be our 10 year). Anyway, inside was $200 worth of Visa cards! She said that she knew that we didn't have a lot of extra money because of fertility treatments and she wanted us to be able to go out for our anniversary. How incredibly kind!!! So when I start to dwell on what I don't have, I need to remind myself of what I do have. I have a lot of people around me that love me and want to help. For that I am so blessed.